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About Me Member General Artist La-Ingenue18/Female/Canada Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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Statistics 33 Deviations
726 Comments
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SO confused

Tue Mar 25, 2008, 7:29 PM
i don't know where my life is going, and it scares the shit out of me. i have no direction, and i don't care about anything anymore, except for friends.
i don't do my homework, i skip class, and i've lost so many values. i'm taking risks and doing stupid things that aren't like me. at this rate i wont even graduate from high school.
when i'm with my friends i feel great, but the rest of the time i'm alone with myself, and i'm forced to think about life. when that happens, all i can do is panic.
right now i'm having a major sexual identity crisis. i don't know what the hell i am. the only thing i'm sure of is that no one's remotely interested in me. the person i'm in love with i could never tell, not in a hundred years. unless they loved me back. i'm already irrationally afraid of rejection, but this one person means more to me than anyone else has ever. i'm so, so, unbelievably lost, and right now, i want nothing more than to be loved by someone.
i've been happy this entire term so far, but i so badly need that to last. i'm terrified of spiralling down again, then finding out i can't rely on my support network. it's the absolute worst feeling i've ever experienced.
hopefully this is just a mood swing, and not the start of something bigger.
i'm being completely retarded right now; i probably shouldn't even post this, but i guess it's too late.
bottom line: i really need to get a social life. also: i need to stop running through life blindly

  • Mood: Isolated
  • Listening to: Starving Your Friends - Envy on the Coast
  • Watching: I Am Sam

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Alberta
  • Interests: Ballet, Contemporary, Lyrical, Philosophy, Writing, deviantART!!
  • Favourite movie: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
  • Favourite genre of music: I run the gamut.. Like literally, I'm out of breath.
  • Favourite artist: lovely-deaths and k-thx
  • Favourite poet or writer: Marya Hornbacher, Billy Collins, Mary Janice Davidson....
  • Favourite photographer: exxphoto
  • Operating System: potato? check. plastic scissors? check. alright mr. wallace, we're ready for your vasectomy!!
  • MP3 player of choice: iPod Video
  • Shell of choice: noggin
  • Skin of choice: Puddin
  • Favourite game: LoZ: Wind Waker
  • Favourite gaming platform: yo momma
  • Favourite cartoon character: Freakazoid, and the Animaniacs
  • Personal Quote: Jesus Optimus Prime Christ.
  • Tools of the Trade: a rusty butterknife

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Comments


:iconpointeman1:
These are definitely some very tough times to be living through and I don envy your struggle for identy and direction. I'm a lot older than you and you something? I still have my bouts with depression; rejection; and all sorts of insecurities...but..one of the things that helps get me through is that I realized that all my worrying didn't do anything. Now...I just live one day at a time; I live each day as if it were my last one. I born and grew up just a few years after World War 2. There was a lot of good to had then but also a lot of bad. I held the good as close as possible and rejected what made me feel bad. There are many paths to a peaceful mind and enlightenment. I hope that your journy becomes a pleasant one!

--
My Passion is Pointe; Aviation is my Love; Art is my Life and I'm always eager to meet others who share my interests.
:iconlovely-deaths:
Thanks for the Fav doll- howchoo doin?

--
And the tree said \"i wish i could be; a different kind of tree\"
:iconla-ingenue:
yor quite welcome. umm, i'm otay. not fantastic, but hangin in there. how are you doing?

--
Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
Once it's on you, there ain't no gettin it off.
:iconlovely-deaths:
be happy kay?
i'm doing alright i do believe, thanks.
how's english going for you?

--
And the tree said \"i wish i could be; a different kind of tree\"
:iconlovely-deaths:
AND LIAR! you are NOT 18!!!!
:O
i'm taken aback! :) lol

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And the tree said \"i wish i could be; a different kind of tree\"
:iconphotom17:
just thought i would check on you my friend . . . i hope all is well and you are happy . . . :hug:

--
"the timing of my comments and replies may appear to be somewhat random, but there is a madness to my method"

"i usually carry a decent camera with me to avoid being attacked by sasquatch, yeti, and cantankerous unicorns"
:iconla-ingenue:
to tell you the truth, im struggling right now. but i really appreciate you checking up on me.
i ended up getting together with the girl i've been in love with for 2 years, and yesterday she ended it.
it's just life. but it's really difficult right now.
:hug:

--
Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
Once it's on you, there ain't no gettin it off.
:iconphotom17:
ah valerina, i'm really sorry you are having to deal with this right now . . . i know there is someone waiting to be blessed with your love and friendship . . . hang in there, and know that people care about you . . . peace, tom :heart: :hug:

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"still working on catching up with 'thank you's, comments, replies, journals, deviations, etc. . . . i'll be back soon"

"i usually carry a decent camera with me to avoid being attacked by sasquatch, yeti, and cantankerous unicorns"
:iconelegantworld:
you are not 16, lol you should fix that :P

--
Tomorrow is the day we reach, when today passes in a blink of time
:iconla-ingenue:
lol thank you jester. i shall fix that immediately! btw, we need to hang out. i miss you, ya durrr
<3

--
Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
Once it's on you, there ain't no gettin it off.

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